Blogger Takes on the Ban

Quick! Quick!

Turn on Fox to catch blogger Alex Elliot on The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet discussing her post about the NYC and MA ban on formula samples in hospital diaper bags!

(Will update this post with my thoughts in a second....)

Okay, first of all, congrats to Alex on a wonderful, well-spoken appearance.

My breastfeeding struggles are well-documented. To recap: Big baby, milk came in late, weight loss in excess of 10%, Noah got his first bottle of formula in the lactation consultant's office at five days old. Turns out my fibrocystic breast disease and scar tissue from cyst aspirations impeded my milk production, dooming me from ever having enough to exclusively breastfeed. I pumped, I took supplements, I nursed around the clock. I went back to work and my supply dropped through the floor, and I dried up sometime around month 5, in a fit of tears, sadness and a bit of relief.

I agree with Alex that I don't understand why the hospital bags need to be such an either/or proposition. Nursing pads and milk storage containers? AWESOME. GIMME. A formula sample and some coupons? Thanks! I'll stick these in a drawer in case we need them at some point.

My first lactation consultant -- the one who admitted I needed to supplement, and supplement NOW -- described the formula in hospital bags like "sending someone home from rehab with crack in their suitcase." I opted not to see her again.

I agree with Alex that we are grown women. We can take in advice and information (even conflicting information!) and make our own choices. This assumption that we're going to pick formula because it's what came with a free tote bag assumes that we are all a bunch of...I don't even know. Uneducated teenagers who don't know any better? Workaholics with a flight of nannies who can't be bothered? (And I'm making these generalizations extremely sarcastically, because please. The idea that young mothers or working mothers are incapable of making the "right" choices for their children is a load of crap in and of itself.)

Breast milk is amazing. It's wonderful, almost miraculous stuff. But like Alex said, formula is not rat poison either. I'm not going to sit here and wonder if Noah would still be speech delayed if I'd managed to stick with nursing a little longer, because that means I have to wonder if Noah's speech delay is my fault for going back to work for those few months, or if I didn't eat the right things during pregnancy, and YOU KNOW WHAT?

We moms have enough pressure and choices to obsess and worry about already. Give us our choices, give us support and information, give us encouragement.

Not a stupid "I Eat At Mom's" onesie.

Comments

[Mandy]

Well said! When we brought my son home from the hospital he was very jaundice. I had to monitor his intake of milk to relieve the jaundice. Well my milk didn't come in right away and there was no way of knowing if he was getting enough nutrients to combat the jaundice. LUCKILY, I had that forumla from the damn tote bag to be able to supplement until my milk came in. I am glad I had it because we had no formula at home nor did my pump work well. I heart the tote and the formula in damn tote.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I totally agree. Honestly, when I get that bag and see just formula samples (which I did save just in case), it sort of turns me off. But even as an avid breastfeeder, so does the "Eat at Mom's onesie.

What about offering BOTH so moms can make a choice -- and feel supported instead of guilty.

[Type (little) a]

Don't you know that we wimmins base our decisions SOLELY on merchandise?

Considering I got several bags of free formula (at the doctor! AND the hospital!) and yet I still breastfed my daughter for a year, I don't know what happened. Someone must have bought me an "Eat at Mom's" t-shirt.

Because it couldn't have been my choice, my hard work, and the support of my husband and family that helped me succeed. No.

It could only have been MERCHANDISE.

[mamaebeth]

i was under the impression that the samples, etc... were available upon request. i don't really see why this is a big deal at all. if you want a bag, ask for it. lord knows you can sign up on the internet for one.

personally, i gave away my samples and used the bag to store my breast pump.

[AmyM]

I agree that it is a choice. I formula-fed my kids. All 3 of them. That doesn't mean I didn't TRY breastfeedng. Because I did. I tried really hard each time. But for some reason, I couldn't figure it out. I know, women have been doing it for thousands of years, it's an instinctive thing...blah blah friggin blah. I couldn't do it. That doesn't mean I failed motherhood from Day One.
My kids are healthy. They are smart. Part of me is glad I didn't breastfeed them or they would be supergeniuses taking over the world right now.

[heels]

The only argument I can find for not handing out formula so easily is that breastfeeding can be really hard and, perhaps, a new, sleep-deprived mother may turn to the readily available and easy formula without really giving breastfeeding the chance it deserves.

That said, I was not able to breastfeed due to genetic deficiencies and had to use formula for my son from 7 weeks old on. He's just fine. Breast is best, but yeah- formula is not rat poison and it saves babies' lives.

[Lisa V]

Heels, I've seen that argument (a desperate mom tries formula because it's readily available)and I really wonder about it. This implies that she wouldn't have the rational choice whether to buy it in the future.

My eldest child was adopted, I exclusively formula/bottle fed her.

I gave birth to my next two children and they were exclusively breastfed. Not one bottle, ever. Both of them had little cans of formula sent home with us. I gave them away to a friend who was formula feeding. That can didn't turn me away from nursing.

Either quit giving away gift bags totally or treat parents like grown-ups and let them choose which products they want to use.

[*pixie*]

Breast feeding is hard in the beginning and even with the myriad of samples I was given I pushed through. I breastfeed, I pump, I work full-time and sometimes (gasp!) I supplement with a bottle of formula. And at 4 months, this seems to be fine for both of us.

[Bethiclaus]

I had tons of problems with my breastfeeding and formula saved my child's life. I still breastfed to 15 months and I have trouble believing that there are women who would choose formula simply because there's a free can in a bag. Surely they know the hospital won't keep them on the formula dole forever. I do understand wanting women to attempt to breastfeed. I wish more women would. But having hospitals refuse to hand out a possibly life-saving food substance is insane.

[Tara]

Amen, to the post and the comments. I was planning to exclusively breastfeed, but my milk didn't come in right away, and the nurse freaked me out on the day we left the hospital. She told me my son's blood sugar was low, the doc was talking about having to give formula regardless of my wishes, and I'd better buy a breastpump IMMEDIATELY to get my boobs working. As a result, my first night at home with my son was a nightmare. I tried and tried to nurse him, spent forever trying to wash & figure out how to use the pump (purchased on the ride home with our baby!!), and finally, tearfully, gave my son a bottle of formula from that free can so he'd have a full tummy and could get some sleep. I felt like a failure.

The next morning, I woke up with twin volcanoes on my chest that shot milk all over the place until I could get my son latched on. I didn't have any more supply problems for the next 14 months of nursing, and the free formula supplies (from the hospital, and mailed samples) stayed in the kitchen pantry as a "just-in-case" stash.

Anyone capable of the rational decision to breastfeed or not will not be permanently swayed either way by a free sample of anything. That's just ridiculous. I was glad to have something that I could feed my son until my body kicked into gear. Just because a "new, sleep-deprived mother" relies on formula once, that doesn't mean she'll quit trying to breastfeed.

[jodi]

Were you able to see it? I didn't think we got that show.

I love Alex and her blog!

[Arwen]

I can see both sides of this debate, I really can. I know that a lot of women have a very hard time with breastfeeding, that they use formula out of necessity, that the presence of a free sample in a hospital diaper bag did not cause them to make the decision to use formula, and that the idea that it could have caused them to do so is insulting. I find Amy's lactation consultant's analogy of formula to crack absolutely horrifying.

That being said, I don't think the bans on formula samples are necessarily out of line. It's easy for women who have access to education about the benefits of breastfeeding to get outraged at the condescension of the laws, but we are not the ones the laws are meant to benefit. (Yes, I said benefit.) If one of us chooses to give our baby formula, we're making an educated decision and we've got an idea about what the consequences might be. On the other hand, someone who doesn't have access to as much information as we do, who is still giving breastfeeding a try because she knows it's better for her baby, might give that sample formula to her baby simply because it's there and she doesn't want to waste it. She'll probably have no idea about nipple confusion or the importance of the early days of nursing for stimulating supply, but if her luck is bad she might very well end up dealing with nursing problems just because of that small amount of formula.

No one really couldn't live without that free sample of formula: $5 worth is very little, and women to whom $5 does make a difference should be able to buy formula with WIC coupons and food stamps. (It bears mentioning that they're also the ones who would benefit the most financially from breastfeeding.) And the free samples are not a kind gift to mothers from the altruistic formula companies either, they're a way to build both reliance on formula and brand loyalty from the very beginning. It seems to me that NYC's and MA's formula bans could be seen not as a way to protect mothers from themselves, but as a way to protect mothers - especially underprivileged and undereducated ones - from the formula companies. I understand why people might see it another way, but, well... I personally think it's worth some people being outraged if even a few more babies get breastmilk because of it.

[jonniker]

The whole thing infuriates me - that study that came out, that was all over the AP today? (Here: http://tinyurl.com/ytjmdz). How dare they, truly.

It just seems ... well, the whole thing reeks of misogyny to me. It's such a sickeningly mixed message - breastfeed for six months, but if you're having trouble, gee, what a shame, because we're only giving you 12 weeks of maternity leave to figure it out. Unless of course, the message is that women have no place in the workforce, which they wouldn't dare to admit, but I do get that subtext at times, oh yes I do.

The whole thing leaves such a bad taste in my mouth that it makes me want to formula feed on sheer, immature, irrational principle. Good thing I don't have a baby right now.

[jonniker]

To clarify my ill-stated point: The government does a lot of lecturing to us about mothering, breastfeeding and the like. And yet, I see little support for moms -- working or otherwise, but particularly working -- in the way of maternity leave, childcare assistance, etc. So, to me, it seems fairly unacceptable and misogynistic to crow to us about how we're doing it all wrong -- and look, here's a study and a ban to prove it! -- with little real support and assistance to make it all happen in the real world.

Unless, of course, they want us all barefoot and pregnant, and without any of the choices we worked so hard to achieve.

[mothergoosemouse]

Frankly, I wonder why breastfeeding advocates don't focus a little more attention on the benefits to the mother as well as those to the child.

First of all, breastfeeding is CHEAP. Even a Medela PIS doesn't cost as much as a month's worth of formula.

Second, breastfeeding is extremely convenient. You just whip it out, whether you're at home on the sofa, in bed at 2am, or out and about. No planning, mixing, or warming required!

Finally, it's a great way to force yourself to slow down and chill out. I'm sure a lot of us Type-A personalities could use that.

Meanwhile, I'm not even out of my first trimester yet and I've already started accumulating samples. Maybe I'll need them, maybe I won't. But it's good to have choices.

[sarahj]

Jonniker-- I completely agree with you-- and notice that this part of the conversation is the least likely to be taken seriously, or to even appear in public discussions of breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is a LUXURY-- you need to be with your baby 24/7, or you need privacy and flexibility at work in order to pump. Because of these requirements, breastfeeding is not the "financial savior" that many claim, espeically when discussing low income women.

I think the ban is bad-- we need free LCs and breastfeeding clinics, longer maternity leave time, and regulations allowing women to pump on the job, no matter what the job.

[Joanne]

It's really complicated and when it comes right down to it, nobody else's business how you feed your child. But it does seem weird to me that I got a 'breastfeeding support kit' that contained a booklet, a bottle and a can of formula. I was confused because at the hospital, they told me not to give my son a bottle until between four and six weeks, when my milk supply was established. So I didn't understand (and I'm not an idiot or anything) how the formula was there to help support my breastfeeding, which I was supposed to only be doing. I don't think this makes me stupid, I think it makes the company that makes the formula trying to make a sucker out of me. But that's just me, I'm all 'damn the man!'

[Kristen]

I did see the show and Alex was great.

I'd like to see some bfing stuff put into those bags -- and hell, keep the formula in there too.

What they really need in those bags in a bottle of Tequila.

I swiped that idea from Jenn who left a comment about it on my site.

That and some Prep H wipes.

[Procrastamom]

It always makes me sad reading these breastfeed/formula discussions, how the people who give/gave their babies formula feel they need to offer an excuse for doing so. "I gave my baby formula, but only because..."

I don't think anyone should ever have to excuse themselves for nourishing their child...breast or formula.

I exclusively formula fed my three children. No but. No because.

[cagey]

I agree that formula is not the worst thing out there and it's not really that much of a problem here in the US. But it should be noted that one reason why the formula companies are drawing so much anger from the breastfeeding community is due to the formula companies' unconscionable marketing tactics in 3rd world countries. The fact remains that formula companies are aggressively marketing their product in communities in countries that do not have safe water sources. Babies do die because of formula use in 3rd world countries, it's not an urban legend and I do have a friend who lost a sibling to formula use.

There's a bigger, far more important message out there that is being lost.

[Amanda]

I know this is the easy way out of a thoughtful comment but I just want to say: Thank you Arwen, whoever you are. You said it perfectly.

Arwen -- I agree with you TOTALLY.

Sarahj -- I think characterizing breastfeeding as a luxury is overstating it quite a bit. Granted, the corporate structure is not conducive to pregnancy / parenting, but the word I think is more apt is COMMITMENT: breastfeeding is a commitment. I know many, many people who breastfed for 12 + months while working full-time at both while-collar and blue-collar jobs. It takes commitment.

Cagey -- I think your point is the most significant. Formula companies' marketing practices in 3rd world countries is the true abomination.

Finally, before I gave birth, I was horrified by the legions of bloggers who lamented the impossibility of breastfeeding. I was terrified that I would find it just as difficult. I didn't. I think there is a misperception that breastfeeding is this hugely insurmountable challenge and you better just brace yourself for the horror of it. I gotta say, it was nothing like that for me. It DID come naturally. It WAS relatively painless. Most breastfeeding moms I know have the same story. I don't think tis naturalness and ease is misleading. Having problem after problem with it is truly the exception to the rule and I wish someone had told me that. It can be fine -- it's not terrible and difficult for everyone.

[Joanne]

It's hard to advise someone who is pregnant about breastfeeding, for me anyway. I don't want to scare anyone out of it but I don't want them to be like "why didn't you tell me it was so hard!?" as some of my friends have yelled at me. I did have a hard time with it, initially. Every single nurse in the hospital told me something different. My son had a sign in his little crib that said "no bottles or pacifiers! I'm learning to breastfeed!" but one nurse told my husband if the baby fussed in the nursery, she was going to give him a pacifier. I didn't even know when my milk was coming in, I thought it came in before I went home (I was in the hospital three days) but then I got home and it DID come in and I was like 'what the hell is THIS?' I usually tell people that want to try to try and try hard and be committed to it but also to be aware that it might be hard and you might have problems and not to knock yourself out over it. It's such a hard time when you're home with (especially) a first baby, I wish women were better prepared and supported about feeding their babies, no matter how they do it. I don't think some formula company (I'm looking at you, Nestle) really cares about women breastfeeding. Lastly, I try not to take it personally when studies come out about breastfeeding or not. If someone says "breast is best" it doesn't automatically mean "and you're the Devil if you give your child formula".

[Dooneybug]

I made a similar comment on another blog about how I have mixed feelings on the issue. While I think it's great that breastfeeding is being promoted, at the same time how does receiving a bag of breastfeeding supplies make a new mom feel if she is struggling or just can't breastfeed due to whatever issue? I know that after I had my son, with all the emotions and baby blues I dealt with, every little comment or suggestion of doing something different than what I was doing made me feel completely incompetent and made the depression worse. And I breastfeed him!

The article I read did state that formula was available upon request which I think is a good compromise. Just don't see why they don't put freebies in the bag that aren't so controversial, like q-tips, plain onsies or baby-sized towels and leave how a mom chooses to feed her baby up to her, with guidance if asked?

[Alicia]

I think anyone who maintains the notion that keeping the free formula samples out of the hands of new moms will Save A Baby is simply delusional.

Breastfeeding is best, sure. But breastfeeding moms aren't doing so because formula was not made available to them, and moms giving formula to their babies aren't doing it because they got a $2 coupon. I mean, really, the absence of coupons and samples might at best be symbolic, but it's not going to make the percentage of breastfed babies skyrocket.

What would make a difference is changing the actual barriers to successful breastfeeding. Mandatory paid maternity leaves (Canada has a full *year*), affordable/free breast pumps for low income moms, and breastfeeding support that doesn't come with the huge dollop of condescension that so many frustrated moms find themselves on the receiving end of.

*Those* are the main barriers to having more women breastfeed successfully. A battle over coupons achieves absolutely nothing.