There and Back Again

It's always a little heartbreaking when one of your favorite bloggers stops writing. Okay, a lot heartbreaking.

The infertility blogs, in particular, have lost a lot of great voices over the past couple of years. Some quit because they found their happy ending (like getupgrrl), and some quit because they didn't (Hardscrabble). Naked Ovary, The Rabbit Lived, Beavergirl...I could probably list about a dozen blogs that haven't existed in ages but I still remember almost every word they wrote. And I often think about those women and hope they are all okay.

Sometimes a blogger comes back, which is awesome. Like Soper of Uterine Wars. Hooray!

And sometimes a blogger comes back and it's not so awesome.

Last night I got an email from Arwen telling me that Jen was back. Old-timey-ites like us remember Jen as the Vintage Uterus. To say Jen had a "rough time" pursuing infertility treatment would be...durr...a massive and insulting understatement. Miscarriages and an etopic pregnancy and loss of a tube and just an awful rough time.

When Jen decided she was ready to move on to international adoption, she changed her blog's name and kept writing. Then she went private for awhile, if memory serves, and then came the glorious news of her daughter Pearl. Jen left for Guatamala to foster her baby until the adoption was finalized, and there were pictures and stories and much rejoicing...and then a lot of silence again.

I think we all assumed that Jen was just too busy enjoying her very happy ending to be bothered with a blog.

If only it were that simple.

Come with me dear Readers on an adventure you will never forget!

It is a summary told by a woman who after 2 failed IVFs, a couple of miscarriages and thousands of dollars lost, threw in the towel on infertility treatment and began to forge the rocky stream called International Adoption.

Yay!

Follow her and her husband as they embark on a once romantic vision of parenthood through supposed philanthropic interests! Laugh at our naivity! Share in the horror as they pour out over $50,000 on their Guatemalan adoption! Share the shock and awe of being stuck in a third world country for over 4 months because of a corrupt Guatemalan adoption attorney! Revel in the joyful reunion of mom, dad, and The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Us when I returned home with her!

But wait! There's more!

A China referral! What, you say? Yes, A CHINA REFERRAL! Even though we cancelled with the agency, the CCAA still processed our dossier and WE GOT A REFERRAL!

What Infertile in their right mind would turn it down?

Then comes....

The most heartwrenching experience of my life... a journey to China, a Gotcha Day —on Christmas no less— and then saying goodbye to our daughter-to-be a couple of weeks later.

Check out Jen's new blog for the full story: Soul Autopsy: Chinese Adoption Heartbreak.

Comments

[Angie a.k.a Chunky Photojournalist Barbie]

I did my undergraduate thesis on international adoption from China. I found the first few entries on Soul Autopsy fascinating. I hope Jen finds, at the very least, a catharsis from blogging about her experiences. I plan to return to her site frequently with eagerness to learn more and an open mind.

I, too, remember each and every one of the retired infertility bloggers you mentioned. I treasured their words, and I think about them often. I don't suppose you could use your ClubMom powers to organize a special group catchup entry and/or delurking reunion? :)

[cagey]

I miss those bloggers, too. Sniff. Christine, of the Rabbit Lived still occasionally comments on my blog and Hope always hits me with a start - like, did she start up again? Pleaseohplease! But no, there is no link under her comment. I will always be incredibly indebted to her because she gave me some invaluable advice on integrating our new baby with our pets. I give her all the credit for how well everyone gets along.

[missbanshee]

Oh god. Oh god no. As someone who hopes to adopt this...this is too much. Jeeeezus.

[Kat]

Thank you for posting this. My sister has a successful adpotion from China, and her dossier is currently on its way for baby #2. This all after battling with the infertility as well. Now she's pregnant (naturally) and they aren't sure if they will be allowed to have Chinababy#2 if and when their turn for referral comes around. I've sent her the link. Thank you!!