Stupid is as Stupid breeds

Sherry from Chaos Theory investigates the phenomenon of expelling your brain out with the placenta:

It’s not pregnancy brain. It’s not sleep deprived brain. Hayley is four and a half years old, Breanna is 16 months old, and I’m still doing things that make me dig for excuses for why I am a moron.

I used to think I was pretty smart, actually. I was witty and quick and good at a kind of hard real-like office job! I rarely went to work with my shirt on inside out and never locked my keys in my car. I never put Similac in my coffee or forgot my own phone number.

What about you? Do you find yourself doing more of those really dumb things now that you're a mom? Are you more absent-minded? Do people need to speak VERY SLOWLY and LOUDLY so that you can understand the words coming out of their mouths?

And what's more, does it ever stop?

I’ve often hoped that it would clear up and I would stop with the pregnancy/placenta/sleepless brain tomfoolery but it appears that it’s still hanging in there. I visited my parents recently and I never noticed my mom pouring coffee into the plants or accidentally eating her napkin while thinking it was a sandwich so maybe there’s hope that my brain will return to normal when the girls are in their late 20s and early 30s. Let’s hope I don’t get confused and wander into traffic before then.

Comments

[Jen]

I'm all about the post-baby stupidity. Before my son came, I was pretty together, but in the past few months (okay, weeks), I have: mailed my cell phone to Texas (inadvertently); later found my cell phone in the outside trash can; poured most of a bag of flour into the half-full sugar canister; and when preparing my family for a walk, attempted to put the dog collar on my son. Go, me!

[anne nahm]

I forgot my own child's name when asked.

A month after she was born, Deli Counter Lady asked and I was so dumbstruck, I couldn't even think of a way to cover up for not remembering. I just looked at her, mouth agape, until Deli Lady said, "oh, it's not important" and handed me my order.

[Kelly]

I am not a mother yet, however, I remember some of the things my mother did, and still does at 63. This includes forgetting our birthdays, and combining our names so we were Gelly and Cary, rather than Kelly and Gary. And BY GOD, we better answer whatever name she called us. She also forgot to pick us up from the day care a lot. I remember her coming in from work without my little brother, and asking where he was. She just turned around and got back in the car to go back across town and pick him up. So just to let you know that your children will remember these crazy things you do, and will use them against you in conversations with strangers for the rest of your life. Good Luck with that. ALSO: Amy, I know you like the Gilmore Girls, well, Jennifer Crusie has written a book: "Writer Alert to let you know that the author's new book, Coffee at Luke's, is scheduled to be released on May 28, 2007." I wanted to make sure you were aware.

[K]

With two, I literally f up words. I have lost all ability to talk.

I think I said "play-yard" instead of playground.

Or maybe motherhood has just made me British.

That's kinda cool.

[callistawolf]

Oh my, I did one of these SO STUPID things just today (and blogged about it, of course!) and I still don't understand HOW I did something SO STUPID.

What I want to know is: is there any way to get our old brains back??

[ali]

oh yes...and it only gets worse with each child....and lucky me...i have three...i'm lucky that i can make it out of the house with underwear in the morning...oh wait...crap...i didn't!!

[Leah]

Sometimes I wonder if this sort of thing isn't so much a function of pregnancy or motherhood but of age. Out of nowhere, I seem to have developed a flabbier belly, a spottier memory, and a tendency to space out about important things--all with no baby in sight. Sigh.

[laughing mommy]

My kids are 16 months and 4.5 years. I've walked away from the car 3 times (since I got pregnant with the first kid) WHILE IT WAS STILL RUNNING. Nevermind locking the doors... how about turning the car OFF.

Also, I rarely spilled food on my clothes before kids. Never had stains that were hard to remove on my clothes. Now nearly all my shirts have a mystery stain I've got to try a million stain-removering-type-products to get out.

I think my brain keeps getting split in half each time I give birth. So I'm done having kids. I need the one quarter of a brain I have left.

[Auburn Gal Always]

Last week, darling husband was helping me carry the baby (in the monster carseat), my diaper bag and my laptop bag from his office out to my Pimped Out Mamamobile. I stopped IN MY TRACKS and put everything on the floor to dig to the bottom of my bag for my keys.

My keys that were in my hand the whole time.

Umh, yeah. There's nothing up there.

[Karen]

you really put the thoughts into words! thank you!

[Kelly]

My theory is that those baby cells leftover in your brain are interfering with your ability to think.

[Maureen]

My sister, older than me by 12 years, has 3 kids and the middle one is named Maura (similar to Maureen) but the youngest one reminds her of me when I was little. So if I am in the room she cannot keep our names straight.

[thejunebug]

This is off-topic, Amy, but I couldn't find an email link other than your advice smackdown one. A mommyblog you should definitely read is WordsForSnow - www.wordsforsnow.org - written by Suzie, who is an M.D. She recently shared with us that her daughter Josie, born just a month before Noah, suffers from a mystery illness that doesn't allow her to walk. I think she could use some support right now. She's been very brave and quiet about it, and she's reaching out.

[Joanne]

I can never EVER think of the words for things anymore. I wanted to ask someone what material her blouse was made of, and all I could think of was 'ingredients'. It's awful, it happens all the time, and my kid is almost two years old!

[sherry]

Thanks for the link Amy! And mentioning that you never forgot your phone number reminded me of another. Very shortly after Hayley was born we decided to order pizza because we were both too exhausted from her colic to cook. My husband held her while I called to order and when they asked for my address I froze, panicked, and gave them the address of the office I hadn't even worked for in over two years. Then I remembered the real address and was so embarrassed to have to correct myself that I lied and said I had just moved so they wouldn't think I was a total moron.

People wonder why our address is scrawled on every take-out flyer we have and the answer is so that I never EVER do that again.

[deepthi]

Amy,this is the first time that i stumbled onto ur blog and cudnt help agreeing wholeheartedly with ur statements:)i have a 3yr old lil boy and yes,i always keep asking people to speak slowly and loudly so i can understand..my brain seems to have leaked out of my ears..after my pregnancy!!

[kelly]

Here's a good one - my mom was carrying my son in to take a nap and I ran after them with the pacifier and tried to put it in my mom's mouth. Sweet.

[Pammer]

Last week I couldn't remember my 9 month old's birthday, put Cocoa Puffs in my 5 year old's juice cup and put the orange juice back in the cabinet where the cups go.

It was a good day. But not an unusual one.

Think I'll go drive on a freeway now!

[stistanny]

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