And it did not have a compass in the stock

(This is my entry for Anne-Marie's "Worst Christmas Present Ever" Contest.)

My worst Christmas present ever was a nose hair trimmer. A travel-sized, battery-operated nose hair trimmer.

Given to me, by my jackbutt of an older brother, my first Christmas back from college. I was 18 and properly mortified, being still too young and too insecure and waaaay too single to have a sense of humor about a freaking nose hair trimmer. Nose hair! He was implying that I had nose hair! If they found out about this on campus I would never get a date again! And then I would be single for the rest of my life! And it would all be his fault!

Would it have killed him to have sprung for a gift certificate to The Wall or something? GOD.

Of course, everyone else in my family thought it was HILARIOUS and my mom made me hold it up for a photo.

(Look at how I'm holding the box backwards. Totally on purpose, because now NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.)

(And I may be smiling for the camera but if you look deep into my eyes, you can see the rumbling surpressed bershon.)

My brother thought he was starting some kind of great gag gift tradition, assuming I'd re-gift the trimmer to him the next year.

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so I kept it. I used it on my eyebrows whenever I didn't have time to tweeze them. It did a pretty good job, actually.

I'd forgotten all about Trimmergate and the winter of my massive discontent until very recently, when I was unpacking a box of bathroom-related items:

It still works. That is one quality gift, people.

(Check out A Mama's Rant for full contest details and how to enter, or to read about other people's adventures in gift-giving gone bad.)

Comments

[Anne-Marie]

Amy, the fact that you have a picture of that just cracks me up!

(BTW - it's exactly what I gave my husband last year as a gift. But then again, he specifically asked for them.)

Thanks for entering and publicizing the contest. The comments are hilarious so far, so this should be a lot of fun.

[Amy]

Your hair is so cute! And your mom's house is so blue! Country blue to boot. I remember that fondly.

[Kari]

The fact that I immediately recognized that compass in the stock rhymes with dick in a box probably means I need to stop watching that clip.

[mdvelazquez]

I don't have a blog, so I can't play but I'm going to enjoy reading.

[cagey]

This yearh, my sister received a spoon and fork from our Crazy Leavenworth Grandma. Folks, a SPOON AND FORK. Um, the "best" part is that it was made out of animal horn. ANIMAL HORN.

[Muddy]

Excuse me? Ahem? Can you please recommend a blog glorifying the working mother? The few, the proud, the, um, the people that I'll have to draw MY inspiration from when I try to do the dual work/mom duel?

I haven't found one and I would love to cheer one on. Thanks!

[Loni]

Too funny! At least you can laugh about it now! (right?!?!?!) I don't think I can think of one better than this, but I will try! (Watch, the prize will be a nose trimmer!)

[Elizabeth]

You are the cutest in that photo, even with the barely suppressed bershon face. Nose trimmer-heh! Also? I once owned a sofa in that same fabric pattern.

[Frema]

I often tell my husband that he needs to get himself a nosehair trimmer STAT. Even though I'm the only one with the gall to look up his nostrils.