Making an Ass of U and Me

Once again, Dana proves herself to be one of the lone voices of reason and sanity on the Internet. She responded to this post of mine -- a post that caused some offense, although none was intended -- and says everything so well that I really can't add much.

I read Nat's party post from my own place, and then applied my own brand of social anxiety and face-clawingly bad track record of behaving stupidly at parties -- especially at parties where I don't know anyone and don't have much in common with anyone, and can't seem to find anyone who even wants to try to find anything in common with me as much as I'd like to find something in common with them. This is why I called the other party guests "obnoxious." It had nothing to do with faith or religion, and everything to do with a lack of self-awareness that hey! Maybe we could talk about something else and make sure people who feel differently than us feel welcome and accepted?

Because really, anytime you assume that EVERYONE in the room feels and thinks and believes the same things you do -- be it about religion, politics, the return of skinny jeans or Madonna's Malawi adoption -- you're probably going to offend someone in that room.

And if you ARE talking about religion, someone in that room is going to think, "Jeez. Everyone else here believes I'm (going to hell) (brainwashing my kids) (planning to strap dynamite to a vest and blow up a coffee shop). Awesome. What a bunch of narrow-minded, judgmental twits."

Anyway, that's what I meant when I called the party guests obnoxious. And I assumed that my readers would understand that and not think that I was calling them obnoxious because they were Christians. See? Assumptions. They make you dumb and offensive. So I am sorry for that.

And Dana's post is great. I shall raise my omnipresent, self-medicating wine glass and toast to her now.

Comments

[Dana]

Aw, Amy. I hope no one was too-overly sensitive to interpret that as you calling them obnoxious. You're right: there are totally obnoxious people in this world, obnoxious because they just don't know when to back off, not because of their beliefs.

I will say though that the internet should be crapping its pants if I'm a lone voice of reason. Thanks!

[Me]

Ok, I'm returning from self-exile to say don't let this get you down.

You did nothing wrong- you weren't offensive, it wasn't critical, and anyone with half a brain and chip-free shoulders would have realized you were talking about the obnoxiousness of TOTAL. BORE'S. MONOPOLIZING. THE. FREAKIN. CONVERSATION.

Not the religious mindset.

And I personally thought the main theme of the original post to be the lack of appropriate beverages necessary to tolerate 2 hours of jumping shrieking kids and self-absorbed, safety clueless parents.

And for the record, I am blessed, I am a Christian and I do on occasion talk about it (especially when things are going fantabulous). I don't Bible thump my party guests, though.

My mother always taught us that if you're running your mouth, watch the body language of your audience. If they're not interested, change subjects until they are. A safe topic is how their life is going, not how your own is.

And always, always, always have beverages for everyone. I'm opposed to Coke because it removes acid from your car battery. Does that mean I'm not going to serve it? No, of course not. It just simply means I'm not going to drink it. Sugar substitutes cause memory loss, so should all the diabetics at my soirees simply drink water? Courtesy goes a long way.

[Amber]

I raise my wine glass along with you...way to go on a good post, Dana.

I related to Dana's post. I am a Christian as well, but I want to think that I am a normal one and would die if I knew that I was making anyone uncomfortable in the way that Nat noted. Sometimes I do see the window automatically close on the other end of an embedding friendship when it comes around that we attend church every Sunday. I hate that. I hate that we sometimes get a bad name...but I can see clearly the reason why (again, see Nat's post). Anyway, we aren't all that dogmatic.

As for your post, Amy...I didn't see any offense in it at all. I found it quite amusing and somehow realized that you were referring to the awkwardness faced in any situation like that, not just around Christians. In fact, I was in a similar situation at a playdate today where I didn't really know either woman and stuck my foot in my mouth oh, about 10 times. You just don't talk about having epidurals and weaning babies and methods of dieting around women you don't know. Why haven't I learned that one already?

I love reading your posts Amy! Don't stop what you are doing.

[callistawolf]

Amy, your other post made me think. I am a Christian but I understood what you were getting at. I don't care for those who try their best to shove their beliefs down someone elses throat and/or make those people feel small for not believing the same thing. And like Dana, I'm sad that a lot of Christians come across that way, I wish there were some better examples out there.

[Dana]

"I'm opposed to Coke because it removes acid from your car battery."

What?! No way!

[bon]

Aww heck, Amalah.... I knew what you, and (Marmite Breath?) were getting at.

[Me]

Yep, WAY! Coke can do all kinds of things to your insides, very few of them are good.

Here's another scary fact: Did you know artificial sweeteners actually lower your metabolism?

No kidding.

I think Amy should do a blog link of everyone who's blogging about those weird things- the scary facts that commercial America doesn't want you to know about the things you're putting in/using on your body (and your child's).

By the way, does anyone else think that most Christians/Muslims/etc have their own slang language? Ebonics has been addressed, how about the other. I think people are often offended by something they aren't a part of, or that they don't understand.

And not to offend anyone, but here's a statement I think is true:

"misunderstanding leads to fear
fear leads to anger
anger leads to destruction"

We teach our kids that. Tolerance isn't just about ignoring things that are different, its about accepting the differences and learning to enjoy them because "variety is the spice of life!"

[anon]

Not to threadjack anything, but here's more on the Coke thing: http://snopes.com/cokelore/acid.asp

[Me]

Ok, ANON, I read your cokelore but I can verify from first hand experience that it works on the battery acid. I've used it.

My car wouldn't start one day at work, and it wouldn't jump off either. A coworker used a can of coke to bubble off the rust from the battery. We then tried to jump it off and it worked.

I asked the guy at AutoZone about it and he said if there's too much corrosion on the connectors, then it won't "get a jumpcharge". Using coke to clean it DOES work. Coke removes Rust.

And according to my dr, its the phosphoric acid/caffeine combo that does it. It's the same thing that causes calcium to be leeched from your body (resulting in poor tooth enamel & cavities, as well as future osteoporosis).

and FYI, yes, I use it in my ham sometimes. Doesn't everyone? Not Pepsi though, because its too sweet.

[Me]

Ok, ANON, I read your cokelore but I can verify from first hand experience that it works on the battery acid. I've used it.

My car wouldn't start one day at work, and it wouldn't jump off either. A coworker used a can of coke to bubble off the rust from the battery. We then tried to jump it off and it worked.

I asked the guy at AutoZone about it and he said if there's too much corrosion on the connectors, then it won't "get a jumpcharge". Using coke to clean it DOES work. Coke removes Rust.

And according to my dr, its the phosphoric acid/caffeine combo that does it. It's the same thing that causes calcium to be leeched from your body (resulting in poor tooth enamel & cavities, as well as future osteoporosis).

and FYI, yes, I use it in my ham sometimes. Doesn't everyone? Not Pepsi though, because its too sweet.

[Katie]

Coke in ham?

[Me]

Very simple: Pour a can of regular coke in the pan you're baking your ham in. (Make sure you stabbed the ham with a knife/ice pick a few times to let the juices flow) Add a few slices of pineapple and bake until the internal temp reaches the recommended temp for your size ham.

It's great! Almost as good as the maple syrup knock-off recipe for homemade Honey Baked Ham.