I Don't Even Remember the Last Time I Played Solitaire

Kristen of The Mom Trap wrote a really great post about longing for just a few blessed moments TO HERSELF. Despite being the social, extroverted sort, motherhood has her jonesing for solitude -- total, utter solitude -- in a big way.

And more than anything except world peace and a long healthy life for my daughter, I desire some quiet moments for myself.

No chores, no babies, no husband, NO NOTHING.

I mean seriously, I could take a vacation ALL BY MYSELF and totally love every minute of it. And not feel guilty for getting it (not that people wouldn't try to lay it on thick for me).

OH MY LORD, YES.

The other day I told my husband that next week, I don't care what day or anything, he's coming home in time for me to go see a movie. In the movie theater. By myself.

"We could get a babysitter," he offered, assuming I really wanted a date night. "We could grab dinner first and..."

"No." I said. "I want to go by myself."

I don't blame him for not getting it -- I've never gone to a movie by myself in my life. I used to tease a coworker who went by himself all the time for being "lame." But right now, NOTHING sounds more delicious than curling up in a darkened theater with some popcorn and watching a movie that I won't have to discuss with anyone afterwards. And that I don't have to worry about getting interrupted by a baby waking up in the next room.

I don't care if other moviegoers think I'm lame or anything. I'm a MOM. I AM LAME.

(Perhaps I should plan my movie night for next Monday, June 26th, which is "Please Take My Children to Work Day," a holiday for part- and full-time stay-at-home moms. Read all about it at MommaSaid.net.)

Comments

[Katie]

Oh Yesssssssssssssss. I am feeling this way myself for the first time since my babe was born. I would love to go to ANYTHING all alone. But, here's the kicker: I want to not worry about said baby while I'm out. That is what gets me every time. The worrying.

[Krista]

I completely, completely, agree. And sometimes dads just don't get it...

[Colleen]

On Mother's Day I put the baby down for a nap. My husband laid down for his own little nap. I snuck out of the house and didn't return for three hours. I went shopping and to a movie. It was pure bliss! And, they were still alive (and happy to see me) when I got back.

[Jamie]

There is nothing better than sneaking off and getting some much needed solitutde and "me" time. I went to see a movie by myself, for the first time ever, when I was pregnant with my first daughter and it was awesome.

[michele]

I'm sure that it hardly even matters what movie you see but keep in mind that Devil Wears Prada comes out next week -whee!

[Missie]

You go see that movie, girl! and have a great time for me while you are at it.

I recently got back from a 3 day trip to Palm Springs for business...no kids, no husband, just went with my mom and had a great time shopping, kicking back by the pool, and reading a thoroughly satisfying mystery novel. It was so great to have that time to myself. I get to go to San Diego on a trip at the beginning of August, and am looking forward to that too. But from now until then? I will have the baby attached to my knees (which is where she pulls herself up to and rubs her face, thereby covering my pantlegs with slobber and boogies.) The joy of motherhood...

[Sheryl]

My husband is really good about taking care of the kids whenever I need some time to myself. Too bad with three kids I'm usually too tired to take advantage of it ;o)

[Kristen]

A movie alone? Sounds glorious. And funny, I really would never have considered it pre-child. Now. Would love it.

Oh, and I figured it out. All those singletons eating lunch/dinner alone (or those ones in the movie theater..) that I used to feel sorry for like "aw, they have no one to eat with..." HELLO. THEY ARE MOMS. ALL OF THEM. And I bet they are loving life.

[Zoot]

I have seen dozens of movies by myself over the years, and they are usually prefaced or followed by dinner by myself. It's actually really fun, I love doing it.

[Sally]

I also go out to movies by myself all the time now that we have a child. It's wonderful. I spend the entire morning before the movie agonizing over junk food choices. Popcorn or candy? M&Ms or Dots? These are important questions! I think you should totally do it, especially if there's a movie you really want to see. We wait to see most movies on DVD, but about once every two months I go out to the theater all by myself. It's great.

[Amy]

I got to movies by myself all the time. I always wondered why movie going is considered a tandem or group activity anyway. It's not like it's an interactive thing. In fact, if I am at a movie with people, I like to sit by myself so I won't have to answer the whispered, "who's that?" "what did she say?" questions from my compatriots.

[erin]

Sometimes I tag a girlfriend to meet me at the theater to see a movie. We arrive barely in time to make the credits, having only just peeled ourselves away from family obligations in the nick of time, watch the movie and then rush home afterward since we invariably see the nine oclock showing and are ready for bed when the movie finishes sometime after our bed times. I always feel guilty for the lack of any real social interaction, but I also want to see the movie. It never occurred to me that I could go alone! Thanks for the inspiration!

[erin]

I didn't mean "barely in time to make the *credits*." although that has happened too. I meant barely in time to make the *previews*. Oops!

[Frema]

The summer after my first year of college, I had a boyfriend who would disappear for weeks without calling, and when we did get together it was mostly to make out and argue so more, so I got used to going to movies by myself real fast. And you know what? I really enjoyed it. Watch out for hott young men wanting to hit on you, though.

[MamaKaren]

Husbands never seem to understand the need for "me" time (not "us" time, not "with the girls", but "me"). I'm so lame that my trips to Let's Dish (www.letsdish.net) counts as fun time, even though I'm preparing 12 meals for my family. I get out of the house, chat with my mom and sister and friend Lisa, and get to sit down at the coffee bar and take a break while eating scones baked by other people. I have started padding my errands sometimes to get some time to myself- going to Target for laundry detergent sans kids does not count as recreation, but stopping at Starbucks and sitting down long enough to finish my drink and glance at the newspaper does.

[Patchie]

Alone time is a must for me. And being home "alone" while the baby naps and my husband takes the oldest kid out doesn't quite cut it. I want alone time where I'm not on call.

My husband is going to be watching the kids while I take a week long vacation by myself in October. I'll be 30 weeks pregnant, so it'll be my last chance before I'm a mom of three...and I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. I feel a smidge guilty for not horribly missing everyone (I do miss them, just not in heartwrenching, I-must-go-home-early type way), but at the same time, it's bliss.

[ShrinkingMom]

I go to movies alone at least once at every two weeks, something every week. And no one looks at me funny! (This is the secret to my 19 years of marriage.)

It's the absolute best, numb-minding way to be alone--other than shopping, of course.

Have fun!

[Hero]

Last April I went all the way to Phoenix from my little New England state just to see a U2 concert with some friends. Let me tell ya, absolutely NO guilt on my end. I had a blast, I remembered what it was like to be a woman and a friend, not just someone's mom and came home raring to go.

[RachelS]

My husband recently asked me that if I was able to take a vacation by myself, what would I want to do? I told him "not a damn thing!"

[Jessica]

Yesterday I sat in my car for a half an hour just so I could read and enjoy some music without anyone knowing where I was.
Being alone has become a rare luxury that I covet.

[BabelBabe]

I just had seven hours on Tuesday with no one at home. Bliss. I did not have to be productive as the boys were out of town with their dad, and the baby doesn't require much in the way of dinner other than a boob or two.
I could happily do that for a week ro two.

And I adore my children and like my husband. But sweet sweet solitude adn quiet...ahhhh....

[HollowSquirrel]

Going to a movie by yourself may be lame to some, but you can get a great seat even in a packed theatre, you can go see a movie when it fits into your schedule, you don't have to share your food or explain why you need the medium popcorn and not the small, and you don't have to talk before, during or afterwards. I went all the time while I was pregnant and even before then.

[Nikki]

Oh, time alone. How I envy anyone with that luxury. I would even just appreciate going to the bathroom without a two year old in attendance.

[Linda S.]

Ooh, I've always loved going to movies by myself. You don't have to worry about whether your movie-going partner is enjoying, say, Snakes on a Plane as much as YOU are.

[Amalah]

SNAKES ON A PLAAAAAANE!

Oh man, I get quivery just THINKING about that movie.