The Internet is a funny place. Sometimes it's ha-ha funny. Sometimes it's funny in that rip-your-heart-out-and-stomp-on-it-then-toss-it-in-the-Cuisinart sort of way.
Sometimes you go to check in on a blog you haven't visited in awhile, only to find out that the unthinkable has happened.
Sometimes you find out that the unthinkable is happening right now, and there's nothing to do but mourn together in the comments section.
CancerBaby was diagnosed with ovarian cancer while trying to conceive her first child. She beat it once, but it came back. It doesn't look like she'll beat it a second time. It doesn't look like she'll ever get to be a mother.
Caleb was born last October, just five days after my Noah. He was 13 weeks premature. He fought through so many things. He was so strong. He was so beautiful.
I never really "knew" CancerBaby or Baby Caleb. I don't "know" Caleb's mom. They probably had no idea that I read their blogs and followed their stories -- or that their words had the power to move me to laughter or to tears.
It bothers me that it's probably too late for me to let CancerBaby know that. I hope she can read the hundreds of comments pouring in and know that her words touched us. I hope she knows that this weird old Internet community does indeed have a heart, and that we're holding her close to it.
Elizabeth, Caleb's mom, is pregnant again. I am so happy for her. And I'm going to let her know that this time.
Edited to add: Epilogue.