Fare thee well

But 'tis done - all words are idle -
Words from me are vainer still;
But the thoughts we cannot bridle
Force their way without the will.

So.

I've been trying to think of what to say here for...oh, well, ever since that last post. And I haven't really come up with anything, except a case of the hives because my lands, my last post here CANNOT BE ABOUT PUBIC HAIR.

Yep. Last post.

As you've probably read elsewhere, ClubMom is shutting down the MomBlogs at the end of the year. Trust me when I say I was in no way surprised and am completely prepared -- and since knowing "for sure" I've been able to happily pursue some other opportunities I've been keeping on hold because I've never been able to squeeze more hours out of the day. I can't wait to tell you guys about them.

In short, I'm mostly...relieved. I loved writing this blog -- I loved reading everything everybody had to say and being able to spotlight special stories and send new bloggers traffic and send needy bloggers support. I've loved having a smaller and almost more-private place to talk about parenting and ask questions without getting so much feedback I regret asking in the first place. And what was life like without Halushki, Mrs. Flinger, Lag Liv, the underwear drawer, Untangling Knots...just to name a few?

(Crap! That's what. Life was crap. Better living through blog reading. Amen!)

But I'm still kind of relieved. After 18 months and hundreds of entries, reading blogs became a chore. I'd long since exhausted my own favorites list and would spend hours bouncing from blog to blog, not really enjoying what I read but just hoping someone wrote something that would inspire a post and crap, the baby is up and I've got nothing. That's...really missing the point of my own stupid blog, don't you think?

So yes, the burnout rate is high over here, and I suppose it's more than a little ironic that my last saving grace was the CafeMom group, where I got to connect with bloggers as PEOPLE and not just random URLs I got off of a friend of a friend of a friend's blogroll. CafeMom will now be ClubMom's primary business.  We bloggers don't really fit in over there, at least from a writing standpoint, but it is certainly a logical extension of the blogosphere community. Meet, chat, share, ask questions, get answers, get inspired, rinse and repeat.

I don't know what will happen with the Daily Dose group at CafeMom once I remove the promise of a Daily Dose spotlight, but I won't delete it or anything. It's a great spot for newbie bloggers to mingle with veterans and ask questions about platforms and ads and other blogging etiquette concerns. And it's a great spot for writing challenges and blog action days or to share something special you've written. I don't know. That was one of those things I hoped I'd figure out before posting here -- some way to highlight everybody who has joined over there without it looking just like the links list, ha -- but...well, there's this weird walrus here telling me the time has come to just post already and figure that stuff out later.

I hope you'll check out all the ClubMom bloggers as they move back to their personal blogs. Check out their ClubMom blogs -- they'll be available until January -- and find out where everybody is headed. Thanks. ClubMom is letting everybody keep their blog names and banners and archives, which is pretty awesome of them, especially since I remember there being quite the kerfluffle over the state of paid bloggers' copyrights back when we all got our first contracts.

Which...oh man. The day I got this gig I think I cried. The day I got a voicemail saying I was one of the finalists for this job I jumped up and down in a CVS and shrieked to the world that I get to stay home with my kid now! For that I will be eternally grateful. Thank you, ClubMom. Thank you.

If you told me back then I'd be out of a job in 18 months I probably would have freaked out -- I had so little faith in my abilities to write anything other than amalah.com-type drivel or that the Internet would still be here and...I don't know...not be a series of non-paying tubes attached to our retinas or something -- but today 18 months feels pretty good, and it feels right. Time to move on, which is why I've decided to take ClubMom up on their offer to end my writing responsibilities immediately. Take a little vacation, or as much of a vacation as I can swing while still writing here and here and here.  It's the selfish decision, I admit. But I'm done. 

But you? You keep writing. I'll still be reading, I promise.

PRIORITIES, PEOPLE

Wildreemer is having a baby tomorrow via a scheduled c-section. Clearly, she has a lot on her mind. Really important stuff, too. Stuff that requires some brainstorming from the Internet.

And I'm curious as well. How did y'all handle the...uh...pre-birth grooming aspects of...things?

The first thing I did after realizing I was honestly and truly in labor was jump in the shower -- since I wasn't sure when my next chance at clean hair would be. I managed to shave most of my legs by lying down in the tub and attempting some REALLY ATTRACTIVE gymnastics (hey everybody, let's whalercise!), and flew dangerously blind for the...uh...other areas.

(Hi! And welcome to Oversharing Day at Mom's Daily Dose!)

Since I ended up with an emergency c-section, I had an extra lovely shaving session at the hospital, but I can happily report that the nurse used shaving gel and I don't remember having any razor burn afterwards. Although possibly I was simply too distracted by the GIANT GAPING HOLE IN MY STOMACH to notice.

What say you, wise mothers of the Internet?

The Mama Focus Photo Contest

Sheri from The Little Zygote That Could asked me to hep you guys to the latest photo contest awesomeness she's got going on with mamazine.com and Tracey from Picture This. I think this one is especially cool:

we want interesting and unexpected shots that give us a peek into real mamahood—pictures with a fresh, unique perspective or that capture a moment, convey a feeling, or tell a story.

the contest starts Thursday, November 1, 2007, and ends Friday, November 30, 2007. read on for contest rules and information.

oh yeah, and the grand prize, graciously donated by SONY, is a SONY DSC-W55 Cybershot Digital Still (black). awesome!

I have a similar little Sony Cybershot camera and can definitely testify that yes, it is awesome. (And I am INSANE with my hatred for most point-and-shoot pocket cameras.) It takes amazing outdoor photos and I love being able to shoot video anytime I want with it. You so want one. So get thinking and get snapping. Class dismissed.

So is everybody sick of the LOLCAT meme knock-offs yet?

No? THANK GOD ME NEITHER.

Look, it's Friday. We're in no mood. We're all tired and cranky and in a horrible mood because it's cold and gray and we're all fresh out of Halloween candy. Or maybe that's just me. Is it okay if I project a little on you? Because I like to imagine we're exactly alike, except that you have better hair and brushed your teeth today.

So I'm also going to assume you find this as hilarious as I do. God, your laugh is like the angels singing, for real.

Click here more LOLgrims.

And once you're done that, check out freerice.com. I'm completely obsessed with this. Define vocab words in exchange for 10 grains of rice donated (via the ad revenue) to the United Nations World Food Program. The site just launched four weeks ago and has donated 1,008,771,910 grains of rice. Yes, it's that addicting. But I can think of plenty of things one can spend hours doing online that are much worse than boning up your vocabulary skills for charity.

Like...lolgrims, maybe. Drat.

Total Recall

I have been working on this post for over two days now. I figured it was past time to do a round-up on all the toy recall news and resources for finding the recall news and safe toy alternatives for the holidays.

Needless to says, writing this was as fun as a barrel of monkeys. And the barrel was made in China, and the monkeys all had the zombie virus from 28 Days Later.

There's almost SO MUCH information out there right now about the recalls, it's hard to know where to start.

The latest recall (you may have heard) are the extremely popular and made-in-China Aqua Dots. More lead? Oh! Ha! No, we've moved past lead-based paint. Now our toys are testing positive for the DATE RAPE DRUG.

*sighs, glares at monitor, gets up to pace the house again*

So yeah. I've having a difficult time typing anything other than sputtering, incoherent rage.

Luckily, Kirsten is a mind reader and sent me a couple links that are worthy of sharing.

Consumers Union (the nonprofit publisher of Consumer Reports) is rounding up all the recalls in one easy place: Not in My Cart. Toys, furniture, electronics, you name it. I thought I was pretty up-to-date on all the toy recalls, but I was shocked to see some of the stuff listed here. Take a few minutes to scroll down -- they include pictures for most items so it's easy to spot anything you might own.

They're also teaming up with the Parent Bloggers Network for a "Get the Lead Out" Blog Blast tomorrow to help spread awareness of the recalls AND offer "safe shopping" alternatives.

So, this Friday, November 9, please tell us what you’re doing about the recalls — emptying your toy box and starting over? shopping online with small businesses and local retailers? boycotting toymakers with recalled toys? petitioning your local politicians? shopping like you usually do?

Click here for all the details if you'd like to participate.

And of course, check out Cool Mom Pick's Safer Toy Guide 2007. Kirsten is dreading a Christmas full of DVDs and plush toys from frightened grandparents, but it doesn't have to be that way.

I admit that even after all the recalls, I bought Noah some Thomas the Tank Engine sets. They are his pride and joy and without a doubt, his favorite toys in the world. Obviously none of his pieces have been recalled...YET, and it really was out of laziness that I went for the licensed character instead of taking the time to research other compatible wooden railway alternatives.  After looking at this page, I realize this is no time for laziness. This is time for action, because ENOUGH. IS. ENOUGH.

The Kindness of Strangers/Neighbors/Other Mothers

This story really touched me. For the record, I would have done the same, and I would hope that someone would do the same for me. As Mrs. G said in her comment, We all need a little grace.

In the days of sanctimommies and assvice and crazy crazy judging, it's quite a concept.

Required Friday Reading

I've sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of some kind of clever framing device for this really random assortment of links, and I cannot, and Noah is feeding the dog peas, and my chicken nuggets are on fire, so honestly, it's BULLET TIME.

• My girl Tracey has a new column thingie for True Mom Confessions. Confess your sins, and she'll apply wit and common sense and booze until the guilt goes away. That's what interweb friends are for, yo.

• <insert seamless transition here to a very funny entry about HOT GIRLS AND WELDING EQUIPMENT> That's just win-win for everybody.

• Hmm...what's this? Some sort of...vote? For...blog awards? I wonder...who could possibly be nominated? In the...Best Parenting Blog category? Cough. COUGH!

• I received a vaguely threatening email -- something about armies and minions and destruction -- from this guy, who apparently got the same sort of email from this woman. Personally, I think violence AND gimmick plagiarism are wrong, but if you want to vote for those sort of people, be my guest. I won't judge, or anything. At least not out loud.

The Daily Dose Costume Parade!

Kids! In costumes! For to be making of the smiles.

Max the Bat

Twin Geisha Girls

Twin Bear Boys

Hannah the Giraffe

Eliana the Pumpkin

A Lobster and a Cowgirl

Cinderella and a pod-baby!

Brandon the Dino-dragon

Pineapple Princess, literally

Annika the Frog and Frankie the Pig

Spiderman Spliggle and Penguin Cat

Spiderman Ian

And oh my God, SHE MADE THESE HERSELF.

(Oh, and good luck to all you NaBloPoMo participants. You are all crazy, but it sure will be nice to always have something to read.)

Untitled

For anyone who was following Jack Simbulan's story, I'm heartbroken to report that there's some sad news this morning. If you have any words of comfort or sympathy, I'm sure they're greatly needed right now.

Hey! Who Wants a Kick in the Ovaries?

Readers of mah blog know I am a fan of the sappy nostalgic video baby's-year-in-review montage. (CRY, SUCKERS. CRY.)

I just got a dose of my own medicine.

And I LIKED IT, even if my eye makeup didn't.

Maureen of Grad Lab Adventures (and member of our Secret Awesome Group of Awesome Blogging Power, which...have I mentioned that recently? In the past four sentences, or so?) made a video in honor of her son Jack's first birthday. I KNOW what an exercise in terror and cursing and vodka making these videos can be, so I hereby order everybody to go watch it and tell her exactly when the waterworks started.

You know, unless you have a heart of tarry stone like mine, which in that case you won't cry at all.

(LIES. LIIIIES. The peas! The legs! The cheeks! DEAR GOD THE WEE LITTLE STRIPED BATHING SUIT!)